Changes to your Citizenship Agreement

I rarely read Slate, but this one is worth your time if you want a good chuckle this weekend.

Important Changes to your Citizenship Agreement

A few of the choice cuts:

SECTION 5

The Freedom of Speech section of the Agreement is amended to distinguish between Regular Preferred Speech and Non-Preferred Speech. The Non-Preferred Speech rate applies to all speech which is not in good standing as defined under the "Preferred Citizen Rate Eligibility" section of your Agreement. Both the rate and your freedom of speech may vary based on changes in the National Terror Alert Level.

SECTION 11

The Rule of Law section of the Agreement remains in effect, except that it no longer applies to Us. It may also, from time to time, cease to apply to Contributors above a certain level (see Schedule G, attached).

SECTION 13

The Cruel and Unusual Punishment section of the Agreement is unchanged, except that "unusual" is amended to read "unusual in Texas."

Read the whole list. I was laughing out loud when I was done.