With everyone paying attention to the neverending 2008 election, it seems only fitting that we here at MEJ turn our attention to the real story... the 2012 election. (After all, we started coving this election in late November of 2004, didn't we?) Well, I've spent some time this weekend doing some prognosticating, and I believe I've discovered how things will shake out for 2012.
The world is going to end.
I don't say this lightly, mind you. And there's a fair bit of data to support this theory. First of all, we'll be at the end of the upcoming election cycle. As far as can be seen, the nomination of Hillary for the Democrats is all but a sure thing. She could, at this point, be filmed feeding live kittens into an incinerator and still beat out Obama and Edwards by a good 5%. And for the GOP, while the picture is slightly more cloudy, it appears to me that the nominee will either be Romney or Fred Thompson. (I know.... I know... you think Rudy is ahead in the polls. Fear not. The neocons have a swiftboating coming his way, probably right around Christmas, and he'll be gone by February.)
I can't picture many things worse than any of those three being president. If anyone can manage bringing about the Apocalypse, I'd say any one of them could swing it. How long will it take them? One term. And once they are elected for a second term, the universe will throw up its hands in frustration and grind to a halt.
But don't trust such a prediction only to politics. There are other indications that the fall or winter of 2012 will be the end of days. Terence McKenna drew out the book of I-Ching to a mathematical pattern calendar and determined that time ran out in December of 2012. The Maya people developed an amazingly accurate calendar which could predict solar and lunar events centuries in advance, accurate to the day. It was a massive calendar which ran on for centuries. That calendar ends on Dec. 21, 2012.
The prophecies of Merlin stated that the end times (far in his future) would be shortly preceded by the rise to power of the "Ass of Wickedness." I'll leave you to be the judge as to whether or not the last seven years fill the bill.
I don't know about you, but I'm planning on a summer vacation in 2012 where I get a bunch of credit cards and run them up to the max. We'll travel the world and party like the lights are about to go out.
That's assuming, of course, there's any oil left for planes to take people anywhere. Otherwise, I'll probably just sit home and watch re-runs of Friends and wait for the magnetic poles to shift.
There should be a party for Anti-Procreation. A party that commits to the idea that life is suffering and to have kids is to throw new beings into the hell of existence. The Anti-Procreation Movement is a philosophical movement that claims that the human condition is one of profound suffering and that one should refrain from spreading this suffering to a new generation by abstaining from procreation. Anti-Procreationism is a kind of Philosophical Pessimism in the tradition of Arthur Schopenhauer's pessimistic Weltanschauung. Its main idea is that there are three categories of human existence: survival (sometimes interchangeable with "work"), boredom, and entertainment. These categories are forms of suffering that are inherently bestowed upon all evolutionarily normal, self-reflecting humans.
ReplyDeleteIf any one is interested in these ideas go to the blog. Some action should be taken to prevent future suffering by preventing future procreation.
I rather prefer the idea that the struggle is the point and defines us. Maybe Anon 6:47 should take up a hobby...
ReplyDeleteIts not clear what will happen in 2012. Sites like www.polereversal.com predict a pole shift. The mayans calendar also ends and may indicate some major event that they are predicting.
ReplyDeleteThe again, maybe the Mayans never finished their calculations before they were inundated by the cataclysm that destroyed their culture.
ReplyDeleteI can imagine the chief calculator priest under the axe and thinking, "Damn - never finished the calculator, but it doesn't matter now."
I agree with anonymous. The Anti-Procreation Movement has it right. To prevent future suffering, don't throw new beings into existence.
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