The Real War on by Christmas

We've had to do a lot of digging, but it seems at last that a serious Christmas war is, in fact, going on. It took us so long to locate because it's apparently happening in New Zealand.

Drunken Santas Run Riot in Aukland

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) -- A group of 40 people dressed in Santa Claus outfits, many of them drunk, went on a rampage through Auckland, New Zealand's largest city, robbing stores, assaulting security guards and urinating from highway overpasses, police said Sunday.

The rampage, dubbed "Santarchy," began early Saturday afternoon when the men, wearing ill-fitting Santa costumes, threw beer bottles and urinated on cars from an overpass, said Auckland Central Police spokesman Noreen Hegarty.

She said the men then rushed through a central city park, overturning garbage containers, throwing bottles at passing cars and spraying graffiti on office buildings.

The remaining Santas entered another downtown convenience store and carried off beer and soft drinks.

"They came in, said 'Merry Christmas' and then helped themselves," store owner Changa Manakynda said.

Ah, yes. Now that's Saturnalia at its finest. Bill O'Reilly should be giving an honorary award to New Zealand any day now, recognizing their fine contributions to our sacred Christmas traditions.

Have a pleasant and sober Sunday, in case you're planning on dressing up like Saint Nick.