Corporate Linguistic Beatdown

I'm not entirely sure why this is bothering me today, but you're going to hear about it anyway. I feel somewhat victimized by the way that our corporate culture has succeeded in abusing and warping the English language to its own purposes. And when I say they have "succeeded" it is not just the way they have gotten the media to report their new lexicon with a straight face, but the fact that they have use using the same terms in our daily business life. Oh, we may have snickered about them at first and made fun of them behind the big cheese's back, but after a while, if you are immersed in it long enough, you start picking up on it yourself.

When did living, breathing, human beings become "resources"? Can you remember? I know when they changed the name of the personnel department to "Human Resources", but at what point did we all agree to simply refer to other workers as "resources." Example: "This project is already 10% behind schedule. I'm afraid we're going to have to request additional resources." I not only hear that when working on site for my primary customer, but ferchristsakes, I heard myself SAY IT today. At some point it seems my brain made that shift and it was no longer perfectly fine to say, "Hey guys, we're running a little behind. I think we could use a couple more people on the team."

There was nothing offensive about calling people "people." It simply sounds better in the press when the big bosses can say "Resource action" rather than "laying off some more suckers." We shouldn't be emulating them.

Actionable items... market-share to mind-share ... verticle business space ... I've said all of these things and more. And I've said them with a straight face. And my formerly sane and sage co-workers and associates understood me perfectly, nodding their heads as I made E.B. White roll over in his grave. When did we get to this terminus on the railway of words?

I'm walking out of here right now and I'm going to get up in the face of the first person in a suit I pass and ask him where the Personnel Department is.