Get Your Hands On My Daughter!

That's the title of a fanciful but still thought provoking essay/rant on Demagogue this week. The question being addressed by Arnold P. California is one that could have been lifted straight out of the sixties, but with doses of realistic acknowledgement of the new dangers facing sexually active people in the new millennium. There is also a nod to the genetic tendency among fathers to treat boys and girls differently when it comes to sex in early life, which, while very amusing, is something I could relate to.

What I meant was: It's none of your business whose hands my daughters choose to be groped by. (This applies equally to my son, of course, but we daddies stereotypically favor our sons' getting as much *** as possible and our daughters' remaining virgins until age 40, so I thought "daughters" had more rhetorical punch).

I'll start off by admitting something that most of my progressive, liberal friends don't seem to like having stated in the open. When it comes to the prevention of teen pregnancy and the spread of STDs, it is a true statement that abstinence is absolutely the safest course possible. No other method comes as close to 100% safety. For that matter, I will even give a nod of the head to old fashion virtues and values and say that I have full respect and admiration for any teen who chooses (and "chooses" is the incredibly operative word here) to wait until they are in a long term, adult, committed relationship before losing their virginity.

But with that said, I will also point out that the closest to a 100% safe, surefire way to avoid getting hit by a car is to spend your entire life in your basement. Effective? Sure. But probably not much of a way to live your life. Demagogue goes on to comment on the concept of abstinence until marriage and point out some things which should have been fairly obvious to anyone before they were brainwashed by the Christo-fascists.

To which I say: bull. I sure question it. My father the doctor, who has studied human sexuality for decades and who has regularly taught a course on the subject in medical school, damn well questions it. If by "adolescents," you mean only 12-year-olds, then sure I agree; but this website is talking about a lot more than that. Sex is good. Sex is healthy. Sex is fun. I want my children to do things that are good, healthy, and fun. I'm not saying that sex is the best thing in life, or the most important, or the most fun. I'm not equating sex with love, let alone saying that physical pleasure can substitute for emotionally fulfilling relationships with other human beings. And I'm not saying that I think that indiscriminately f***ing every other person who comes along is a recipe for happiness. But I am saying that sex is one of the good things in life, as is music, as is math (OK, I'm a bit weird), as is literature, as is baseball.

Ok... full disclosure. If I were raising a young daughter who was approaching puberty, I would have a neverending battle royale going on in my head over this subject. The knee-jerk reaction I would feel is that any young teenage boy trying to get my daughter to go out after dark was trying to get in her pants. And my first instinct at that point would be to reach for a shotgun. Why? Because I was one of those teenage boys, and I know exactly what was on my mind back then. But I agree with Demagogue that you simply have to get over that. Twelve is way to young to be having sex, (unless you live in Mississippi and are marrying your cousin, apparently) but still, kids have natural, biological urges which, as Mother Nature has taught us, can not be denied.

Far better to encourage them to be open and honest in communicating with the parents on all matters regarding sex, and making sure that they are armed with every piece of information possible to make safe, sound decisions while still enjoying the life which they choose for themselves. Sure... easy for me to say since I'm not raising a tweenage daughter, right? You bet your arse, Skippy.