The 2005 Irony Awards - we have a winner already

No need to send in any more nominations. I'm afraid that a clear winner has already been chosen. Speaking in France, Condi Rice started out by mouthing a lot of platitudes about Franco - US relations. Please note, however, that at no point does she specifically mention our relations with France - just "Europe."

"Time and again in our shared history, Americans and Europeans have enjoyed our greatest successes, for ourselves and for others, when we refused to accept an unacceptable status quo -- but instead put our values to work for the cause of freedom," she said. At a news conference later with Rice, French Foreign Minister Michel Barnier said the "world is a better place when Europeans and Americans work together."

Personally, I think that Barnier and the French are insane to expect any better treatment from the Bush administration than they have received in the past. (Barring, of course, their rolling over like a dog and letting Bush rub their belly while throwing them crap covered biscuits to eat.)

This rather unrelated introduction brings us to the Irony Awards winner. When talking about the United States policy of subjugation of all other nations spreading freedom around the globe, Rice somehow kept a straight face while saying the following:

"Our charge is clear: We on the right side of freedom's divide have an obligation to help those unlucky enough to have been born on the wrong side of that divide."

Rice said, however, that liberty cannot be forced upon a country.

"Freedom by its very nature must be homegrown. It must be chosen. It cannot be given, and it certainly cannot be imposed."

You've got to be kidding. I'd add something else, but I need to collect my jaw off the floor first.